Singleness “Know Yourself”

Business woman looking over the city at sunrise.

Singleness is not a disease to be cured but a season that one should enjoy. The season of being single is a time to get comfortable is your own skin. Oftentimes, singles usually ladies fall into pressure because they are at a certain age (usually over 30) with no potential suitor in sight. For some they slip into depression when they remember that the last time they got attention from potential suitor was their senior year of college (8 years ago). Others feel that they are not just pretty enough; they feel that they don’t have what it takes to attract the kind of men that they want. For the men, parental and societal pressure leads to resentment and frustration about the word relationship. Some have been able to understand that singleness is a gift from God as express by Paul in 1 Corinthians and have embraced the gift of being single. While for others it’s a self-discovery and preparation phase for marriage. Whatever the reason you are single (whether you have embraced it as a gift or you have not just been found or you are just not ready or still in the preparation phase or reasons best known to you); reality is that at some stage in life; everyone is single. Some experience this stage longer than others. My writing today is not to tell you how to leave this stage but to express to you how to maximize your life as a single.

Concerning singleness, I don’t want you to be ignorant. Understand that at the core of a great marriage lies two “Single” individuals. The strength of any business relationship lies on the quality of the “Single” individuals involved. The sustainability of any meaningful relationship is built on the quality of the “Single” individuals involved. At the core of a thriving society lies a successful family and at the core of a successful family lie two great “single” individuals (Male and Female). Since the quality of your single life has the potential to affect every aspect of your life well beyond your single life it is important to understand how to maximize this season. I will like to point your attention to some areas that will help you maximize singleness

Prioritizing God’s Presence

Singleness is not a disease to be cured neither is it a problem to be solved; but a time to enjoy and bask in the presence of God. It is a time to be separated to God. A time to get comfortable in your own skin, a time to build character, a time to understand your strengths and develop your weakness, a time to seek the discovery of purpose, a time to ask God the very thing he saw when He created you to be revealed to you. Don’t get into another relationship without first finding you. The first thing God gave Adam was his presence not a wife, not a job and not a house. God knows that only His presence can help Adam keep every other thing. Don’t get into a relationship with someone who prioritizes your presence over the presence of God. You can never lose out on God’s best for a life if you prioritize His presence, but you will definitely lose God and every other thing including your spouse if you prioritize your spouse’s presences over the presence of God. Paul, understanding the importance of prioritizing God’s presence while single put it this way

But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord 1 Corinthians 7:32



“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, Before you were born I sanctified you, I ordained you a prophet to the nations” Jeremiah 1:5

Ever wondered why God did not put you in the 13th, 14th 0r 15th century. Imagine if God has placed Noah in United States in 2013 and told him to build the ark. Noah would have had to get various permits from the state, local, federal and regulatory agencies to build that ark. Also imagine if Mr. Jobs was put in the 12th century will there be an iPhone as we know it today?

2013 Ferrari F430 Scuderia cost about $190k while a 2013 Subaru Legacy 3.6 R cost about $35k. However, while the Ferrari is believed to be a better automobile than the Subaru, it has its boundaries when it comes to weather. While the Subaru can confidently ride in 6inches of snow due to its all-wheel drive capabilities, all the Ferrari can do is to stay in the garage during snow because it has a perfect understanding of it purpose. Do you? By changing the terrain from dry ground to snow, the Subaru suddenly triumphs over the Ferrari. My point is that you have been placed in the most excited time of the human history. God saw something when He created you and your season of being single is the best time to discover you.

The most valuable thing you can do to humanity is to release your unique mind to the world. In other words, empty yourself to humanity of every God given idea. It is essential for you to spend time and invest in the discovery of your purpose. Understand that God created you and only He can reveal you to you. This is the primary way to discover you. Also, your gifts, talents and passion are pointers to your purpose. Passion (what you love to do) + Competitive Advantage (What you are anointed to do) = Success (walking in Gods will for your life). Success is absolute and it is in relation to a specific task.



This is the time to perform a SWOT analysis on self. This is the time to understand what your strengths are and leverage them. This is the time to identify development opportunities (weakness) and create a development plan to overcome them. This is the time to identify potential opportunities in and around you and look for ways to exploit them. This is the time to identify potential treats that can limit you from attaining your goals and develop plans to hedge against them. A SWOT analysis on self in the presence of God will help you identify weakness in your life or lineage and help you know where to enforce your redemptive right.

Finally, your single season is a foundational aspect of your life and I pray that you will not only locate His will in this season, you will begin to walk in it. I pray that you will maximize your single years and the very thing God saw when He created you; you see it and you walk in it.

Love Always

Marriage is a journey and not a destination ~ T.E

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