How did I got into this marriage? How did I get to this point in my life? How does a marriage go from a place filled with so much love to a place filled with strive, anger and discord? I am tired of this marriage. Marriage should not be this painful. I must have married the wrong person. If God was in this marriage, I should not be experiencing such pain. These thoughts raced through Janet’s mind and she drove home from work.
Couples does the fact that there is P , strife and discord in a marriage mean that God is absent? Does the fact that Janet is unhappy in her marriage mean she married the wrong person? Well not necessarily . In some cases, it can very well mean she married the wrong person while in other cases it may not. Adversity in marriage does not mean you married the wrong or that God is absent in your marriage. Let look at the biblical account of Joseph.
Joseph was the youngest of his father’s children. Jacob Joseph’s father loved Joseph more than his other children because he gave birth to Joseph in his old age. Joseph had a dream that his brothers bowed down to him. In addition to Joseph’s dream, the love his father had for him made his brother through Joseph into a pit. From the pit, Joseph landed in slavery. Joseph was later sold the captain of the palace guard in Egypt, Potiphar.
Potiphar’s wife tried to sleep with Joseph, but he declined . Declining the offer from Potiphar’s wife landed Joseph in prison . Potiphar’s wife expressed to her husband that Joseph tried to sleep with her. While Joseph was in prison, he was able to interpret a few dreams. After Joseph was released, He became the Prime Minister of Egypt.
With all that Joseph experienced in his life, he had a very interesting perspective when he saw his brother’s years later. When Joseph saw his brother’s, he was the prime minster of Egypt . He commanded so much authority yet when he saw his brother’s he uttered this words , “God sent me ahead of you”.
But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance – Genesis 45:7
Couples, despite all that Joseph went through, his perspective was that God sent him ahead of his brothers to save their lives. I thought if God was leading you, you will not be in the prison nor will you be in the pit. I thought if God sent you on a mission, everything will fall into place. There will be no stress. I thought if God was in your marriage, everything will be perfect in your marriage.
Couples the reality is that regardless of who you marry, there are issues you are going to have to walk through in your marriage. Walking through issues in a marriage or a troubled marriage doesn’t validate the absence of God.
To those thinking about divorce, get counsel. God loves you and His desire is that you prosper in all areas of life including marriage. Just like you visit a doctor when you feel pain in your body or a dentist for tooth ache, you need to seek counsel about your desire to divorce. This desire signifies pain in your marriage. There is no shame in that desire. Nevertheless, it will be a shame if you allow that desire to rob you of your marriage, deprive your children of a stable home and also prevent you from unleashing your potential to humanity. The difference between success and failure in marriage is how you choose to react to the desire to divorce. Irreconcilable difference (one of such desires) is the major cause of divorce presently. You can choose to either marry that desire and then divorce your spouse or divorce that desire and marry your spouse. Marriage requires you doing your due diligence and letting the Holy Spirit play His own part (supplying the grace and wisdom you need). God wants to heal your marriage because He loves you beyond words can describe. Marriage is not about rules, dos and don’ts but about freedom to express your God-given potential.
Always remember that Marriage is a Journey not a destination. It should get better over time if the governing principles are consistently applied.