Couples stop growing either individually or as a couple
as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby 1Peter2:2
I believe this is a core issue with many marriages. Lack of growth. Couples fail to grow together for various reasons. Some feel that growth is automatic, others feel that growth will naturally happen over time. Yet other feel growth is instant. The reality is that couples have to be deliberate and intentional about growth and stop assuming that it will just natural happen. Anything you feed will grow and what you stave will die, if you feed your marriage the love, care, sacrifice and nurture it needs through your daily decisions, your marriage will flourish over time. On the contrary, if you starve your marriage of the love, care, sacrifice and nurture it needs to grow, it will starve and wither away. Couples need to understand that growth is a function of desire meeting corresponding action. Newborn babies don’t only desire milk they take action based on their desire to nurse once the milk is provided. You have to be proactive and intentional about growing together.
Couples try to enforce their belief over each other:
There are certain things about your spouse that you don’t like that you cannot change particularly when you feel a need to change it. I believe this can be challenging for couples as thoughts like “if you love me, then why don’t you listen to me and change or do what I say” creeps into the mind. The fact that you are not changing suggest to that you don’t love or care about this marriage they think to themselves. This is not always the case. While we may be able to inspire change in our spouse, the Holy Spirit can convict and change in your spouse. I am talking about healthy sustainable change where both individuals are excited, happy and don’t feel manipulated or pressured into change.
Couples compare their marriage with other couples
For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. 2 Corinthians 10:12
Just like no two individuals have the exact same fingerprint, no two marriages are the same. There can be a lot of similarities however in the grand scheme of things every marriage is unique. Couples need to realize this and ensure they don’t fall into this trap of comparing there spouse with someone else’s spouse. Particularly in this age of social media where people post only there best pictures. The reality is that you are not comparing apples with oranges because you don’t have the most accurate information of the person you are comparing your spouse with. Paul expresses that comparing yourselves among yourselves is not wise. You can inspires, challenge, encourage to be better and do more, however comparing your spouse with someone else’s suffocate opportunities in your marriage for couples to grow together.
As always, marriage is a journey and not a destination. The bible is the blue print while the Holy Spirit is the guide you need.