A few months after Robert and Susan got married; they decided to do grocery shopping together. Robert asked Susan, so, what are we buying? Susan responded “I have the list in my head.” Now, Susan is one of the most organized individuals Robert has ever met so he did not doubt she had the list handy, even if it was in her head. They walked into the store and after about five minutes, Robert knew they were in trouble as he realized that every item at the store was calling for Susan’s attention. It was like a kid in the candy store. Susan noticed the very same thing about Robert. They had no plan at the grocery store and lacked vision. As a result, they wasted time and spent more money buying stuff they did not really need. I am sure you can relate, I certainly can.
The consequence of having no vision at the grocery store is trivial compared to the consequences of having no vision for your life or marriage. I do not want you to be ill-informed concerning your vision for life and marriage. You see great marriages don’t just happen by accident neither do they happen by couples hoping. Hope is not a strategy. Great marriages are a product of two individuals who had a vision for their marriage and are intentional about it. Don’t go through life and marriage without a vision or plan. It has been said that eyes that look are common but eyes that see are rare. Sight is a function of the eyes but vision is a function of the heart. Vision is one of the greatest attributes of a man and true vision for life comes from God which is rooted in your purpose. That is, your vision gives sight to your purpose. In other words, your vision for your marriage gives your marriage the sight it needs and you being intentional about that vision lays the right foundation for success.
“Hope is not a strategy for a successful marriage, Marital Vision with corresponding action is”
Until you have found purpose your vision is blurred. Until you answer the question of why did I get married to this particular individual, your vision for your marriage is blurred?
You see without a vision, marriage becomes an experiment based on trial and error. This approach will lead to frustration in life and marriage. I believe vision for marriage is an integral part that has to be in place for the marriage institution to regain its honor and flourish as God intended. Judging by the current divorce rate; it is evident in our generation that most people who get married have little, blurred or no vision for marriage. Many marriages perish today because the people that get married have no understanding of what it entails. They lack the vision, knowledge and sense of purpose that marriage requires to be successful.
“Without a vision, marriage becomes an experiment based on trial and error”
Couples understand that purpose precedes creation; everything you see around you was intended for a reason, including marriage. “Until the purpose of a thing is established, misuse is inevitable” says Dr. Myles Munroe. Scriptures say for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24). Again the question must be asked, why have you decided to cleave? Simply put, why have you chosen this particular individual over everyone else? Answering this question early in courtship will give you the vision for a successful marriage. I often ask young couples this question and many of them give answers that validate their love and emotional feelings for each other.
Have a yearly vision retreat for your marriage: Couples should take time to ask fundamental questions about their marriage with the goal of seeking ways to grow. Identify what works and celebrate it. Identify development areas and develop an active plan to grow in such areas. This is something I perform yearly and has helped me grow tremendously in my marriage.
Evaluate your developed plans periodically: Review your vision periodically to see how close or far off you are to achieving them. This will help you stay focused and grounded on what’s important to you.
Ask God for help: Sometimes couples have a clear vision and understand what is needed to be done, however the struggle is executing. Sometime couples lack the will to execute and this is where you can ask the one who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Ask God for help consistently and continually.
As always, marriage is a journey and not a destination. The bible is the blue print while the Holy Spirit is the guide you need.