MarriageNewly Weds



Divorce is like an uncompleted building. So much potential at the foundation and so much hope at the altar but no fulfillment.

In Divorce, there is no closure particularly when children are involved. In the words of Dr. Myles Munroe, “Divorce is worse than physical death because there is no closure”. It’s like leaving a scar untreated.

Divorce – Show me a divorced couple and you will find two things “Pride and lost hope”. Pride says if we are to continue this marriage, then it must be on my terms. Lost hope says “I am tired of feeling miserable and unhappy. I am done fighting for this marriage”. In other words, the day you lose the desire to fight for your marriage is the day Divorce starts knocking on your door.

The divorce rate currently is simply appalling. People that often need help fail to seek counsel, particularly in Christian marriages, because they see it as a sign of weakness and failure on their part. These statistics show that the family and marriage as an institution is literally disintegrating before our very eyes.

The effect of divorce is felt in the home where children are forced to grow up with single parent. The effect is felt in the classrooms because children are too emotionally unstable to learn, thereby becoming a menace to society. The effect is felt in society as nearly one third of divorced couples fall below the poverty line. The emotional hurt from divorce is devastating. Society is robbed of its future because parents, children and family are too dysfunctional to release their potential.

When it comes to divorces, nobody wins. Not the husband, not the wife and definitely not the children.

To those thinking about divorce, get counsel. God loves you and His desire is that you prosper in all areas of life including marriage. Just like you visit a doctor when you feel pain in your body or a dentist for tooth ache, you need to seek counsel about your desire to divorce. I do understand that they are real and this desire signifies pain in your marriage. There is no shame in that desire. Regardless of what you are currently experiencing in your marriage, there are people who have experienced similar things, sort counsel and are back on track. There is no shame in feeling what you feel towards your spouse. Nevertheless, it will be a shame if you allow that desire to rob you of your marriage, deprive your children of a stable home and also prevent you from unleashing your potential to humanity.

“The feeling of Divorce signifies pain in your marriage, you can either embrace that feeling and divorce your spouse or divorce that feeling and embrace your spouse.”

The difference between success and failure in marriage is how you choose to react to the desire to divorce. Irreconcilable difference (one of such desires) is the major cause of divorce presently. You can choose to either marry that desire and then divorce your spouse or divorce that desire and marry your spouse. Marriage requires you doing your due diligence and letting the Holy Spirit play His own part (supplying the grace and wisdom you need). God wants to heal your marriage because He loves you beyond words can describe. Marriage is not about rules, dos and don’ts but about freedom to express your God-given potential.

As always, marriage is a journey and not a destination. The bible is the blue print while the Holy Spirit is your guide.

Love Always

Toyosi Erogbogbo


    1. My heart goes out to you and I pray that God will perfect all that concerns you. In the case of domestic violence my counsel is that you seek safety. Your first priority is the safety of your life. Seek safety first before you can evaluate the situation with appropriate counsel and then decide the best way to proceed based on God’s word.

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