The emotional hype coupled with the prestige, companionship and sense of accomplishment that comes with being married is appealing, however too many couples struggle with staying married. I sometimes struggle to reconcile the state of some marriages with the flamboyant wedding ceremony only a few years prior. The couples seemed happy (On the contrary, I know a particular couple that was not) and in love only to start struggling a few months later. What happened? What changed? I often thought to myself. Below are some elements of marriage that if young couples explore will help navigate the early years of marriage.
- “Marriage is a journey and not a destination”:
The first element was introduced when God established the marriage institution by expressing these words:
For this reason shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
In other words the goal of marriage is oneness and connotes marriage as the process of becoming one flesh… “and they shall be one flesh”, inferring that the process of cleaving to your wife to become one flesh is the journey called marriage. However it takes a life time unraveling, which is why couples don’t become one flesh overnight. Just like faith is a journey and not just an experience marriage is a journey and not a destination. It takes time to understand each other, it takes time to adjust to your new life as couples. A major struggle for young couples is reconciling their expectation of marriage to the realities of marriage. Great marriage don’t happen overnight, it takes applying the fundamental marriage principles of God’s word over time.
- “The Bible is the blueprint ”:
I am yet to see any manufacturer make a product without the owner’s manual. Every authentic product has some type of manual or label that provides some basic instructions about the product. In the same way the bible provides the blueprint about building a successful marriage. The bibles has a lot to say about the principles that govern a successful marriage such as trust, commitment, forgiveness, patients, sacrifice, mercy, grace and prayer to mention a few. I am convinced that many marriages will be better today if couples take time to read the bible and apply its principles in their marriage. There is nothing you are faced with in your life and marriage that is beyond the power found in God’s word.
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Joshua 1:8
The struggle in marriage sometimes is ignorance of what God has said about whatever situation we are facing in our marriage.
3. “The Holy Spirit is your guide”
The third element focuses on the application of what is found in God’s word. I cannot imagine a marriage or life with the presence and influence of the Holy Spirit.
However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. John 16:13
The Holy Spirit will reveal things to you about your marriage. With limited access of the future the need to rely on the one who sees the future cannot be overemphasized. Particularly when you are making decision that has to do with your future.
Always remember that marriage is a journey, the bible is the blue print and the Holy Spirit is your guide.