• Marriage is a Journey

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    "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." --Genesis 2:24
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HAPPY NEW YEAR……

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One year after, “I love you more than words can express”

One year after, “I love you more than words can express” This is the story of two becoming one Dr and Mrs. Ademola Obajuluwa share their love story on two becoming one. Dr Ademola described in two words, dependable and consistent. Mrs. Itohan Obajuluwa on the other hand is loving and caring.  They share their story, wisdom, counsel and advise on singleness, courtship and marriage God’s way.   How did you meet? What attracted you, what sparked your interest?  Ademola: We met at church. We were just acquaintances initially. When The Lord brought Itohan to my attention, I was in a state of surrender and just asked God to remove all the distractions and help me to focus on pleasing Him. I had considered a few “sisters” but I had total peace the more I prayed about Itohan compared to any other person. The picture became clearer and clearer and I could hear God speaking to my heart clearly about her. Even though I was still learning how to hear from God, I had a sense of joy and assurance that I was moving in the right direction concerning Itohan and God confirmed it many times over. A major part of God’s confirmation came through the pastors and mentors over us. In terms of attraction, some of the major things that attracted us to each other were humility, we both loved God and had developed relationships with the Holy Spirit, we both loved worship and we both wanted to do relationships God’s way. We were tired of doing things the natural way. Her gentle and nurturing spirit as well as her inner and outer beauty also played a role.   Itohan: We met at church. We were led to each other by the Spirit of God and heard from God concerning the other person. However, we both also talked to people who knew the other person well and found out more about each other’s character. The more I learned about Ade’s character, the more I realized that this was the kind of man I was looking for….someone who was humble and down to earth, willing to help in any situation, kind, patient and loving. What do you think you could have done differently as a single or in courtship that would enhance your marriage?  As singles, we wish we had built even stronger relationships with the Holy Spirit. The ability to...
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“CLEAVING”

“CLEAVING” The marriage institutions was established when God expressed these words For this reason shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 This verse of scripture basically sums up marriage. In other words “For this reason shall a man leave” emphasizes the need to ask yourself the question what is the reason I am leaving my parents to cleave to this particular individual? Am I leaving because of love? Am I leaving because of my age and accomplishment in life? Am I leaving because everyone around me is leaving and cleaving as well? Am I leaving because society expects me to do so at this stage of my life? Am I leaving because I am lonely? Furthermore this verse establishes the goal of marriage as oneness and connotes marriage as the process of becoming one flesh… “and they shall be one flesh”, inferring that the process of leaving your parents to cleave to your wife to become one flesh is the journey called marriage. However it takes a life time unraveling, which is why couples don’t become one flesh overnight. One of the characteristics of God is that He speaks about the end from the beginning. This characteristic of God is seen through scripture for example God saw darkness but he called light in Genesis 1:1-3. He told Abraham that I have made you a father of many nations at a time Abraham had no child of his own Genesis 17:5. He told Saul I have made David King over Israel at a time David was still taking care of sheep 1 Samuel 16. Isaiah 53:5 expresses that by His stripes we were healed, not you will be healed or you may be healed, but that you were healed. My point is that God speaks His desire which is what He sees regardless of what the situation looks like. This is no different from the verse of scripture above “….and shall cleave unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh”. God desire is that you leave and cleave to become one flesh with your wife. Something fundamental happens when God speaks. When God speaks the grace, power and ability for whatever He says to come to fruition has been released with His Words that is why His words will never return void...
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“Character” the bed rock of a sustainable relationship particularly marriage

“Character” The bed rock of a sustainable relationship particularly marriage Character, the summation of traits and qualities of an individual, is the bed rock of building a sustainable marriage. A quote by John Wooden often used in the sports and business arena to stress that ability (talent) alone is not enough to keep you successful is “Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there”. I am sure there are tons and tons of sports figures, business men and women, actors and actress that you have either heard about know or perhaps you are one yourself, whose talent got them to the top but their character couldn’t keep them there. While this is the case for success in business, career and other works of life; it also holds true for marriage. Physical qualities, charisma, wealth, assets, personality, intellectual horse power, emotional stability, spirituality and so on can get you married; however character will help you stay married. Character is like smoke, which cannot be hidden and will always find its way to the surface. This is why I find it interesting when couples get married and then are surprised at the character of their spouse. For example Mary suddenly realized after 1 year of being married to John that he has not been able to keep a job for more than 3months at a time in the last 5 years. Let’s look at some instances when people’s character came into question Joseph: “How can I do this thing and sin against God”. Joseph was pressured numerous times by Potiphar’s wife to sleep with her but he declined. It’s good that he declined, now what is even better is the reason he declined. Not because he felt he would get caught by his master but because he feared God. Character, being consistent with who you are behind closed doors. Couples need to understand that their individual relationship with God affects their overall relationship. Genesis 39:8-9 Isaac: “Perspective on marriage covenant”. Isaac and Rebecca got married and for 20 years they did not have any children. Isaac was 40 years old when he got married to Rebecca and they didn’t have their twin children until Isaac was 60. The bible says that Isaac pleaded with the Lord and the Lord answered him. In other words he pleaded with the Lord for 20 years, not stepping...
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Cost of a Relationship

Cost of a Relationship Are you ready for a relationship? Do you think you can afford it? I am not talking about financial cost. Below are some costs to consider before you go out shopping for a relationship. See if you can afford it.   For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—  lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?  Luke 14:28 – 30  Cost of Maturity: One of the traits of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Immaturity has caused so many relationships unnecessary heart aches and in other cases being the cause of many break ups because couples lack the maturity to delay gratification. We live in a generation that wants everything now at the push of a bottom. Some call it the entitlement age. The maturity of the individuals involved in a relationship will ultimately determine the success of that relationship. One thing is certain; your level of maturity will be tested as life throws challenges at you and your relationship. Your character, your decision making pattern, how you handle your emotions, how you handle pressure and particularly how you think all point to the level of your maturity; and any married couple will tell you that how you handle the above qualities will determine the state of your relationship or marriage. The bible puts it this way When I was a child, I spoke like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.    1 Corinthians 13:11 Reality is that courtship or marriage is for grown men and not boys or children. Also understand that age is not necessarily the sole indicator of maturity. For example, any boy can sleep around, but it takes a man to stay faithful to his wife. Before you get into a relationship evaluate the maturity of the individual you plan to get into a relationship with. A good way to do this is to evaluate their history as character is like smoke that cannot be hidden.   Cost of Emotional Stability: Many couples in courtship have set unrealistic expectations because they have allowed their emotions get the best of...
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The New Wine’s Skin

The New Wine’s Skin Fred a software engineer was introduced to Naomi a chemical engineer who wanted to be a pediatrician. Fred and Naomi became closes friends and after a few months they decided to go into a relationship. They built true friendship and they both deeply cared about each other. They supported each other’s dreams and their love for each other seemed to go beyond infatuations, emotions and feelings. They both scarified personally for the sake of the relationship and enjoyed each other’s company. One of such sacrifice was Naomi leaving medical school as a pediatrician to pursue a doctorate degree in chemical engineering because she felt that it would give her opportunity to build the kind of family she and Fred always dreamed off. Fred was humbled at Naomi’s personal sacrifice as the decision drew them closer together as they continued to enjoy each other’s company and their relationship. About 6 months later, Fred felt it was time to propose to Naomi, settle down and get married. He was convinced that Naomi was the one as he looked forward to an exciting future with her. At this time, Fred and Naomi, barely had a relationship with God and rarely went to church. Their philosophy was to be good unto to people and each other, have a good conscience and enjoy life. Fred got an invitation to a Sunday morning church service and he asked Naomi to come along. Naomi declined the invitation but Fred still went to service. During the church service, Fred felt convicted in his heart and was overwhelmed by the presence of God. He decided to rededicate his life to God. He was so excited to share the good news with Naomi and called her on his way home. Naomi was excited and felt it was a great thing. Fred became more conscious of God’s presence and would often spend time in fellowship with God praying and studying the bible. Fred’s consistency in his Christian faith increased and his love for God and His word grew. While Naomi was excited at Fred’s new dedication to his Christian faith, she didn’t think much about being dedicated herself. She felt, she was fine with her life the way was. Fred’s zeal and commitment to his Christian faith continued and after coming across this verse of scripture; “If you love me, keep my commandments” John 14:15 Fred...
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